Facebook shared this photo with me today as a Memory from 8 years ago. Back in the early spring of 2015 I was two years on from burnout and breakdown. I was about to move house for the third time in eighteen months. My body was starting to settle after a year of panic attacks. I was working again, doing my first interim contract as an HR Director. I was drawing and painting lots of circles. I had made my first mandala painting for a friend’s birthday and made another at the request of a woman in Los Angeles (my first ever commission!). She had seen a photo of the birthday one I posted into a Facebook group and asked me to make one for her.

I went to a talk by Robert Holden and met up with a friend. “Lynn” she said, “I’m holding a spring fair and was wondering whether you’d like to come and sell your art?”

I laughed.

“I don’t have any art”.

“But I’ve seen your photos on Facebook”.

“Ah well, they’re of the only two paintings I’ve done, and one is with a friend and the other is in America”.

“Could you do some more? I’d love to have you at the fair”.

In one of those funny moments when time stands still long enough for your brain to process multiple thoughts in a nanosecond, I heard a voice above the cacophony of objections - Just Say Yes. But, but, but, spluttered my Sensible Self … Just think about this: you have no art, you are about to move house, you have all the packing and unpacking to do, you are working, you’ve never done this before, HOW could you possibly fit this all in?

“When is the fair?” I asked.

“May 17, after the Bank Holiday, in the grounds of the clinic”.

“That’s only four or five weeks away and I move house in a couple of weeks, I haven’t got time to get anything ready”.

Just Say Yes.

My mind went into overdrive. Committing to this would be insane!

Just Say Yes. Just Say Yes.

Are you f**king mad? said Little Miss Sensible.

“OK, I will see what I can do”.

“Brilliant! I will include you in my social media and my newsletter promoting the fair. I’m so happy you will be there”.

Told you to Just Say Yes.

In the aftermath of a house move I sat at my dining room table every evening for a week and painted four mandalas using watercolour. I made up each pattern, I had yet to find classes in sacred geometry, that came later. I contacted an artist I knew to ask where she got her prints made. I went to Hobbycraft and bought some simple frames.

A few days later I picked up a message.

“Hi, I’m Tracy. You don’t know me, I’m the organiser of the largest Mind Body Spirit fairs in the South East and we have one coming up at Kempton Racecourse. I’ve seen pictures of your art on Nicky’s newsletter and I think you should have a stand at the next event at Kempton at the end of May. Give me a call if you are interested”.

Just Say Yes.

The voice reappeared. The objections reappeared.

I had visited the MBS show at Kempton many times as a customer. I knew it was a huge event. I’d go and have a tarot reading. My last visit had been the previous November when a card reader told me I was living on the wrong house. I hadn’t even mentioned my recent house move to the reader. I wasn’t settled in that house which led to the recent move in April. My life was endlessly shifting during these times and very stressful for someone overwhelmed by anxiety and coming out the other side of a breakdown. How could I cope with producing enough art for both the spring fair and a major MBS event only two weeks later? Plus I'd never attended an event as a trader, I had no idea how they worked.

Aha! said this voice of mischief, you do know retail though, you grew up in retail, you spent four years after University working in retail, you can do this.

I rang someone I knew who sold lotions and potions at the Kempton event and asked her if it was worth doing. She gave me some of the best advice ever and told me to treat the cost as marketing, to let go of expectations to sell and make money because sales varied from event to event. “Treat it as fun and remember to gather names for your newsletter”, she said. What newsletter? I didn’t have a website. I wasn’t even an artist!

Just. Say. Yes.

This voice was calmly insistent. So I booked a stand.

On a beautiful spring day in May 2015 I took my minimal stock of freshly made art prints and a couple of mandala paintings printed on canvas and set up a table at the spring fair. When the fine art printer did the scans to make prints he said the turquoise mandala would look great reproduced large on canvas so I asked him to do it. He made two, I kept one, which I still have, and I sold the other.

That spring fair was a portal into another world. I have never regretted saying yes, it changed my life. During 2015 and 2016 I sold at many of the MBS events, originals and prints. I had a lot of fun and met some lovely people. I earned enough to pay for a holiday in Italy in autumn 2016, following which I commissioned my first website.

Seeing the photo on Facebook was a timely reminder to Just Say Yes. I’ve spent much of my life being sensible and cautious which frequently leads to saying No or Not Yet, or Maybe Later, or the absolute killer of When I Retire. I’ve no idea where the voice came from, some might call her Spirit, the voice of the Divine, the voice of Intuition, your Higher Self, or your Spirit Guides. This voice guided me into Art and to trusting life. I like to believe that it was no coincidence that it was Nicky who invited me to her spring fair because she is an angel card reader. She was my earth angel on that day, and I thank her from the bottom of my heart.

This post first appeared on my Susbtack account where I write about all aspects of life, including creativity.

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